These days articles are often oriented around click bait, with publishers and media outlets frequently focussing on 'top five' this and 'top ten' that. As a result of this we thought we'd buck the trend and do something completely different, by taking a theme that has absolute no relevance to anyone and rolling with it. 

Unfortunately one issue with this approach is that due to the complete lack of coherence within the article it makes an introduction quite hard to write, so I posed the question to ChatGPT, which had this to say:

Amidst the rugged cliffs and soaring peaks of the climbing world, another creature quietly gallops into the spotlight: the horse. Welcome to a unique exploration where hoofbeats meet carabiners, and the ancient art of horsemanship intersects with the modern pursuit of vertical ascents.

From the tranquil landscapes of sprawling pastures to the sheer rock faces that defy gravity, we delve into the intertwined tales of climbers and their equine counterparts. Discover how the patience, trust, and mutual respect forged in the stables echo the fundamental principles of climbing, enriching both endeavors with profound lessons and experiences.

Join us as we saddle up and harness the spirit of adventure, bridging the divide between horse and climber in an exploration that transcends the boundaries of terrain and tradition.

Whilst it did a fantastic job in sexing up an otherwise uninteresting article, I think it might have overestimated just how many horses there were actually going to be in this article, and in no particular order - here they are, UKC's top horse themed crags:

Horseshoe Quarry

Horseshoe Quarry is the crag everyone loves to hate. People criticise it for its polish, people criticise it for its choss, but counter to what the cynics might be saying - everyone who's there always seems to be having a good time. Its a great place to catch some winter sun, being sheltered from the wind and catching all the rays of sunlight going.

The Main Wall is where the highest quality rock presides and once-again, I think the doubters are wrong - especially when it comes to this wall - as the climbing style it presents is one that's really interesting to climb on. It's intricate and technical, quite traddy in its feel, and the routes often feel quite unlikely. It's certainly a long, long way from Ceuse, but you get what you're given - and we were given a hole in the ground.

If there were to be one downside it's the absence of horses, or horseshoes, but there is plenty of other wildlife, with the highlight being the great crested newts that reside in the pond that people occasionally shit in (please don't) and the abundance of butterflies that reside within its walls - the highlights of which on a national level are the Dingy Skipper and Wall Brown. The old hay meadow is well worth a visit too, if you know where to look…

Equestrian Walls, Porthllechog (Bull Bay)

If you asked someone to name a crag on Anglesey the first one that they'd likely name is Gogarth. If quizzed them a little further then they might name Rhoscolyn. You'd have to keep the interrogation going for quite a while before they got on to the Equestrian Walls and the hardship undergone getting that information will pale into insignificance when compared to the torture of climbing one of the routes on its walls. 

Equestrian Wall is reminiscent of Gogarth's infamous North Stack, known for its crumbling classics. The classic of the crag here is Captain Mark Phillips (E5 5c), which comes in at the niche grade of E5 5c. Captain Mark Phillips was, for those who aren't in the aware, a British equestrian and Olympic gold medallist who was once married to Princess Anne. The route, which - it's worth noting - wasn't climbed by him, takes an impressive line up a horrific looking crack, which has an abundance of gear - most of which is quite poor. As a result of this the age old adage of 'quantity, not quality' is adhered to and there are rumours that up to 50+ pieces can be placed. Thankfully there's a convenient spot at half height at which one can pull up a second rack. Trust me, you'll need it!!

Whilst there's an absence of horses at the crag itself, the thematic nature of several of the routes (Three Day Event, Crazy Horse) means it deserves a few more points on the Horse-o-meter.

Horse Pens 40

Horse Pens 40 is the first area on this list to feature a genuinely high standard of rock. Located in Alabama, USA, it is known for its stunning sandstone, which is reminiscent of Fontainebleau in France. From a UK perspective it is confusingly referred to as 'Southern Sandstone' within the States and is not to be mistaken with our own (infinitely superior) Southern Sandstone, located just outside of London near Tunbridge WElls.

I haven't been, so I can't comment on the number of horses, but there's a shocking lack of equestrian route names which counts against it; however, the rock quality more than makes up for it.

Crazy Horse Buttress

Crazy Horse is our second international destination, located across the other side of the world in Thailand. It's home to some seriously hot (and high standard) limestone. You've only got to look at the number of stars within the UKC Logbooks and you'll see that it's got as much quality it has humidity…

Much like Horse Pen 40 I've never been, so can't comment on the quantity of horses; however, there is a buttress which looks like a horse, and that's got to count for something…

Saddle Tor

Whilst it is undoubtedly docked points for not having been called 'Horse Tor', Saddle Tor deserves a mention - not least becuase it is home to arguably the densest array of hard bouldering problems in the whole of Devon. It's granted further bonus points by being the crag that you're most likely to see an actual horse too, with the Dartmoor ponies being common throughout the area. In fact, it was one such pony which inspired poetic name of one of the problems - Foal's Chopper (f7B). Curiously all the other problems are named after ABBA songs, so maybe that's a theme for us to explore next year...