UKC

I recently bought a pair of boots however they had a manufacture defect which I only noticed after using them.

Luckily the company have arranged to send me a new pair on one condition, I send them a photo disposing of the current pair....

How do I do this? wrong answers only

Use them as plant pots

Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure

If they are Koflach vivas then just be a bit more patient, they will dispose of themselves.

Otherwise, save 3 A/L days, book them off midweek (when it’s quiet) in early Jan. Book bank Street Lodge and get your routes planned. Pre-book the gondola if going that way. Drive up t’fort and sit in the pissing rain and gale force winds for 3 days in the grog & gruel getting slaughtered on the ‘eavy and drive home without doing anything. Dump all mountaineering kit in the bin in morrisons car park before setting off. Never fails 👍

I believe the traditional ways of footwear disposal are:

A) tie the laces together and lob them over a telephone wire or power line. (This will then cause people to Google the significance of footwear dangling in the area and get worked up by the urban myths suggesting it's a place to buy drugs or the boundary between gang turfs. The local paper will then do an article on the drug dealing gang warfare, with a photo of your dangling boots as evidence of such).

Or

B) chuck them on top of a bus shelter (different bus shelters for each boot obviously ... though putting a pair together on the same bus shelter would be ludicrous, confusing and cause the local paper to do an article on why a pair of boots, rather than the usual single shoe or trainer, has mysteriously appeared on a bus shelter roof).

A copy of the local newspaper would be a more professional and independent record of your boots disposal than just taking your own photo I think?

Cut the laces. I'm sure any decent boot manufacturer will agree that a broken lace makes the boots unusable and that the boots would need to be completely replaced.

Leave them outside an NZ alpine hut for sky burial via kea.

(Image source - https://southernlight.co.nz/)

Treat them to a proper Christian burial, that way they will go to heaven. After all they do have a sole

Encase them in concrete and film them being sent to live with the fishes. 

Make your boss at work wear them, dispose of in car crusher. Take photos, boot company will be happy, job done.

If the boot company is prestigious (or believes they are) they might not want to be associated with that and you might need someone famous not your boss, perhaps use Bear Grylls. That would be bad pain in the rear to organise but worth it in the long run.

Place them conspicuously on a gantry over the M25. They'll be gone for about 5 years?

Fill them with concrete and use them for target practice, like old tanks

Alternatively start building a mountaineer scarecrow from the ground up

I thought that was by law only allowed for old wellies?

Saw them in half and stick them to your wall as bizzare, mountainy decor.